Unleash YourSelf

#1 Tip for a Successful Relationship

 After interviewing Mishael Patton, author of Love Heals Hearts, about what it takes to make a relationship juicy, delicious and rock solid the answer was pretty darn clear. It's simple, but not always easy. It involves respect, neutrality, patience, open mindedness and an open heart - are you ready? The #1 tip for a fabu partnership is communication! And she should know after 18 years of wedded bliss.

And I can just hear you now - nodding your head and saying, yes I know that, tell me something new. But I think that's the red herring in the ointment - looking for some magical concept as a quick fix. The reality is if we speak from our heart, consider the other person, give up blaming and shaming, honor and respect our man, own our issues that may be interfering with the smooth sailing of the relationship we have a shot at a very fulfilling, win-win, mature coupling.

But, if you are not a good communicator it will take a bit of effort initially till you build the muscle and make it a habit...albeit the most rewarding work you will do if you crave a connected, intimate relationship. It means being in the mindset of giving rather than getting, approaching things as "we" rather than "me" - letting go of the need to be right, and saying sayonara to the power struggle.

It's my experience coming from your heart is the key - it's a small shift with HUGE rewards - when you let your guy know where you are coming from, the feeling that's tied into it - when he FEELS you, he will want to join you...it really is that simple...so be brave, be positive, step up to the plate and take the love lead...go on, give it a try..you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!!!!

 

Love & Romance: 3 Tips for Happily Ever After

How would you like to transform your less than luscious love life into a juicy and delicious love affair?  The key to a love life full of romance, passion and soul-to-soul connection is YOU. Single and sensational or married and magnificent - the key to happily ever after can be found in these three secrets:

#1 – Sparkle: the first place to start is getting back your sparkle. This means falling in love with YOU! When you love YOU the world is a fabulous place to be! You’re happy, you’re excited, you’re having fun, you’re giving and receiving love – basically, you’re living in abundance.

#2 Confidence: men find women with confidence positively irresistible and sexy. Confidence says you love and respect yourself. You exude an energy that’s magnetic, magical and mesmerizing. You know who you are and what you want. You don’t expect others to create your happiness.

#3 Laughing – bringing play into your relationship opens the heart, adds adventure and lightens any mood. It will get your man to open up and talk more!  Are you frustrated by your man's lack of chit chat? When you get him relaxed and playful, believe me, he'll start yappin' up a storm.

There you have it. Reconnect with the real YOU - when you love yourself you take back your power. So go find your playful, confident, feminine spirit and you’ll turn your lonely, dull and disappointing relationship into a delicious, juicy love affair!

 

 

Love and Romance: After 60 Something Years

Have you ever known a couple who have a fairy tale romance? A relationship that lets you know happily ever after really does exist? A relationship that gives you faith true love is a reality and not some empty promise our parents gave us?

My Aunt Maxine and Uncle Bill (picnicking in above photo-1954) had that marriage. I say "had" because after 60+ years of wedded bliss my uncle passed on...a very sad day for my aunt and entire family. I grew up spending endless summers with them and am so grateful they were in my life.  Wow how blessed I am to have gotten to see true love first hand. 

Having a failed marriage myself I sat my aunt down one day and asked her what she felt was the secret to a long, happy and successful relationship. Here's what she had to say:

1. Have fun together - really like each other - (makes sense...to be each others best friend)
2. Overlook each others faults - (ouch, I wasn't so good here...) 
3. Patience and understanding - (blew it again!) 
4. Never go to bed mad -( Wow did I suck at this one!)
5. Good sense of humor ( right up my alley) 
6. Supportive - help each other when you're down ( definitely gotta be there for each other)
7. LOVE each other - and this is the bottom line - what everything stems from.

So, if you're in a reflective state or on your way into a new relationship - think about this simple but sage advice from a woman who was still madly in love with her husband after 60+ years of marriage and feels their time together was not nearly enough to express their love.

A beautiful example for me...I hope it will be for you too. 

Dear Sparkle...

Dear Sparkle,

How do I make my partner and myself happy?
Thanks – Sad and Lonely

Dear Sad and Lonely,

Thank you for your question!

This is actually much easier to remedy than you may think but you have to be willing to take action. Are you game?

First I want to help you understand that yes, you are responsible for your own happiness but you are NOT responsible for your partner’s.

 This is a very common thread for women. It often stems from our childhood – seeing mommy or daddy sad and thinking it’s our job to make them smile. I’m here to relieve you of that responsibility my dear. Just concentrate on yourself and you will most likely see a miraculous shift in your mans demeanor just by being in your joyful presence.

Now, what’s the quickest, easiest way to your happiness?

-Make a list of 25 things that give you that expansive, full, juicy feeling of delight
-Choose one thing every morning
-Commit to taking action and do it!

If you want to get happy it’s necessary to “Be” happy. You’ve just gotten into a rut and can’t remember what happy feels like. With a little reminding you'll soon be singing The Hills Are Alive...

 This is a FUN, simple, yet POWERFUL exercise! Get your list going and start NOW and happiness will be yours within moments!

Dear Sparkle...

Dear Sparkle,

How do I make myself fun, interesting, and happy? (I am kind of seeing myself as a boring person without much imagination or creativity)

~Thanks, Wannabe Winning

Dear Wannabe Winning,

Thank you for your question!

I get asked this often and it’s easier than you think to become more fun, interesting and happy.

Fun is really about your attitude – a light heart, an open mind and the ability to play. Get in touch with your inner child – what did you like to do when you were young? As we grow older we often get way too serious. There is no room for frivolity if you are structured and serious.

 If you want to be more fun ask yourself what “fun” means to you. It’s different for everyone – someone might think going to the beach is a gas whereas another would think race car driving is a blast and yet another would say dancing is their favorite past time. What is it for YOU? If you don’t know, ask yourself what sounds fun and try it. Search your local paper for events and start going to whatever sparks your interest.

Finally, use the power of suggestion – say to yourself frequently throughout the day, "I am Fun!"Just saying this will bring opportunities to frolic and put you in a playful state.

Interesting people are usually interested in others and in life. When talking to someone ask questions about their interests and I guarantee that person will leave the conversation feeling fabulous and thinking you are incredible!

Becoming more interesting also piggyback’s on your quest for fun – when you are doing fun things you’ve always got something interesting to talk about. It's a win-win!

The combination of the two will bring you more happiness in your life – you’ll feel more alive and fulfilled. So start playing!

Love & Freedom,
Sparkle

Dear Sparkle...

Dear Sparkle,

How do I manage my time better so I have the energy and playful spirit to dedicate to my relationship? ~Running on Empty

Dear Running on Empty,

Thank you for your question!

The truth is most women are like super heroes, saying yes to every request and piling on the tasks till they are completely burned out at the end of the day feeling far from sexy or playful.

The key is to make pleasure and fun a part of your day and make your relationship a priority, Think about those heady days of dating – you made plenty of time to look your best and enjoy each other fully. Where did that spontaneous woman go? She needs to find her way back!

She’s in there, you’ve just forgotten about her and need a little reminding how to reclaim her playful spirit. So, I invite you to join our Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Challenge to get your passionate, sensational self back. It’s a fantastic support and will inspire you to make living, laughing and loving a focus.

It’s really not a matter of time my dear – it’s a matter of how you want your life to be – what’s important and what can wait. What you think you HAVE to do vs. what you really WANT to do.
Why don’t you schedule your playtime into your weekly planner? You wouldn’t blow off a client or a dr. appt would you? So why are you blowing off your need for fun and romantic adventure? Reclaim your sensational sexy Self now by declaring your desire for this important aspect of your relationship.

Do it NOW!
Love & Freedom,
Sparkle

Relationship Advice: Dear Sparkle...

Dear Sparkle,

"How do I get clarity about what I want and ask for it with confidence?"
Thanks....Dazed & Confused

Dear Dazed & Confused,

Thank you for your question!

Here are two ways to get clear about what you want:

• The easiest way to get clarity about what you want is to start becoming aware of what you DON'T want. Get yourself a little notebook to put in your purse and start making a list of all the things you know for certain are not desirous. And keep collecting data. Every time you make a new discovery add it to the list. Review your list on a regular basis and you'll start to see what you like by clearly seeing what you don't like.

• Another option is to try different things and see what you enjoy and what you don't. Take action, pay attention and soon the veil will be lifted.

Once you know what you want, ask for it with CONFIDENCE. Here are a couple of suggestions:

Relationship Advice: Dear Sparkle...

Dear Sparkle,

 

I am 31 and broke up about 8 months ago with a 50 year old man I was in a relationship with.  I have done a lot of inner work and he had the maturity and fearless ability to open up his heart to a relationship.  I experienced true love but when he wanted to marry and have a child with me, I realized I had to end it because it didn't feel right…  I am now focusing on my passion to sing and song-write, but I am worried if I''ll attract the better fit for me since I am also into tantra and I haven't experienced many ''younger'' men who are into these things.  I know deep down I will attract the perfect match for my next stage of evolution.  Is there anything else I can do other than focusing on my passion to help with this?

Thanks…Young & Hopeful

Dear Young & Hopeful,

Thank you for your question! Your prior relationship sounds like every woman’s dream – a mature man with a fearless ability to open his heart to you, wants to solidify and celebrate the relationship with marriage and a child, and there is true love. Hmmmm…I can only surmise you were not “in love,” which would explain why it didn’t “feel” right. If that’s the case I honor you for not settling.

As far as what you can do now to bring in your perfect match I strongly suggest you...

Relationship Advice: Dear Sparkle...

Dear Sparkle,

I have a very long beautiful love story.  We are both deeply in love with each other – the true love of our life for the last 30 years, but we will never be able to be together. We will go to our grave loving one another.  How do you move on to someone else and be truly happy?  How do you tell your heart to let go?
                             Thanks, “Star-crossed Lovers”

Dear Star-Crossed Lovers,

Thank you for your question… I can feel how tragic this feels for you…I have been in your shoes – not in quite the same way but also feeling like I would go to my grave loving someone I couldn’t have – I admit it was heart wrenching…until I realized I was not open to the bounty of life. I was of the conviction that if I couldn’t have what I wanted well then I didn’t want anyone else and I’m here to tell you, that’s crazy thinking!

There are so many wonderful men to meet and love in the world. Unfortunately, it is out limiting beliefs that keep us so delusional and in a tortured prison. I suggest you take some time to look at your relationship with this man in a new light and I invite you to ask yourself these questions:

Relationship Advice: Dear Sparkle....

Dear Sparkle, 

I met a man through an online dating site and right from the start we found that we had a lot in common. We had a great first date that lasted about 10 hours and a second date that was for a weekend.  We talk/email/text every day.  The two main challenges that I am facing are that he lives 3 hours away and not being sure where we stand as far as dating other people.  Since we haven't had "the talk" I am going to assume that we are free to date others, but how do I ask him about this.  You would think at 41 I could do this, but I feel like a teenager in this situation after having been out of the dating world for 20 years.  

Thanks…Long Distance Lover

 

Dear Long Distance Lover,

   Thank you for your question- I think it’s one that many people can relate to.  I myself had a long distance relationship so I am definitely familiar with this scenario. 

 I can appreciate the instant rapport and feeling of comfort with the familiarity but due to the distance, I see this as a challenge.  In response to your dilemma’s I would offer this advice: